Me, Myself, and Depression

This post is dedicated to those who fight this depression daily but don't have the courage to speak out about it.

Many people, for the most part, see me as a guy who is sarcastic and sociable at times. However, a lot of people never realized the pain and anguish that lived inside me. However, no one really knows what it is like to be me.

See, growing up in a Nigerian household, (I'm Nigerian, by the way) was very different from the typical American household. I couldn't do a whole lot as a kid. I mainly played with my siblings. I didn't have many friends. I remember kids calling me "African Booty Scratcher" and how it made me feel. I felt as if I didn't belong

It got worse in the seventh grade and begin to snowball once I entered college. My depression got so bad, I indulged in minor marijuana and alcohol use. I felt that if I did these things then the pain would go away.

I felt as if my life was not going to get any better and I began to have suicidal thoughts day after day. I actually contemplated committing suicide. I had a suicide plan and everything. I was going to drive my car to the very top of the parking garage at school and jump off of the roof.

I ended up talking to the school counselor and was hospitalized for a week in 2009. I believe that whole week was the avenue God used to heal me.

I still cope with depression long after my release from the hospital. In fact, I made a commitment to live my life in an optimistic manner despite my current troubles and struggles. I now read my Bible daily and I have come to terms with my depression and decided it will not define me.

I thank God for giving me the gift of the pen because writing basically saved my life.

Mental illness, especially depression, is prevalent in the Black community. We need to confront this issue before it causes the death of a loved one.